Lesson #2. What’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.

First off.. Can I just take a moment and tell you how great my husband is?

Today, I came home to all the laundry done and all the dishes finished. I am beyond grateful as we have both been stressed and overwhelmed by the clutter-y house. We work totally different hours and I recently went back to school. I work the normal 8-5 and spending most of my evenings studying and doing homework, and he works 1:30pm to 10pm, but rarely gets home before midnight so he spends a lot of the day sleeping. Therefor, it’s the small victories like getting the dishes done and the laundry OUT of the dryer before a week passes and have to wash the same clothes over again! HA!


Learning that the word “mine” is no longer a word we use in our daily lives other than our toothbrushes – of course – and such, has been a weird thing to learn. You would THINK it would be easy, but both of us came from a home with a sibling close in age. This meant t-shirt were not shared, we had our own rooms, certain foods we liked more than our sibling did so when it came time to share with our siblings, it was a war. At least in my house; my brother HATED it when I used to wear his T-shirts, but they were SO much better than my 50.


Though we fought over t-shirts,
Brother is still a pretty cool cat.

I don’t know how many times Jake has gotten something out of the refrigerator and I’ve said “hey that’s my…. insert yummy food here!” I usually catch myself, and tell him he is welcome to it. It’s too late at that point, he knows my heart’s intent was to definitely not share – no less, let him HAVE – my yummy food or drink.

I have come to a strange, yet wonderful realization. He has just as much ownership of my heart as I do.

When I said “I do” to Jacob, I really said “Here’s my heart, I trust you to take care of it, and me. Here’s my life, my dreams and my failures, they are just as much yours as they are mine.”

What that also means is that I vowed to share the last piece of blackberry cobbler I made for HIM, the yummy Starbucks coffee I bought for ME because I am in too big of a rush in the mornings to make my own, fresh coffee and to share the blankets even when my feet and fingers are freezing.

What’s his is mine and what’s mine is his. That’s all there is to it, in everything.

Also, please note, we do have things we do that are “our own.” He is not with me 24/7. I can treat myself to Starbucks without him and not feel bad (even though, sometimes I do feel bad for it, ha!), but I also remember to not be selfish when it comes to material things or my heart for that matter.

As always thanks for stopping by! I would love if you shared some of your biggest lessons in marriage so far!

With Love,
Erin Vandiver

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