Those are the first words a mother, father and brother heard after finding their 15 year old daughter foaming out of her mouth in the closet. They panicked, what family wouldn’t? They hadn’t seen the intensity of the pain until that moment, they thought this was it. Rock bottom. In fact, most would consider that, “rock bottom”, but it wasn’t for her.
Rock bottom was actually feeling pain, hurt, abandonment and suffering again. Rock bottom was not having the drugs to mask it all. Rock bottom was people knowing her faults. Rock bottom was admitting she wasn’t perfect.
If you haven’t figured it out, this was me five short years ago.
Though unattainable, perfection seems to be quite the desire in this world.
“3 Steps to Perfect Hair!”
“11 Ways to Have the Perfect Marriage”
“How to Have the Perfect College Career”
Let’s be honest, I may think your hair is perfect, but do you? Can you really have a “perfect marriage”? And who are they to tell you what the perfect college career is going to be?
Believing we can achieve perfection is probably one of the biggest lies of Satan. If he can get you to believe that you can attain perfection, suddenly, you either become prideful or insecure. Our Heavenly Father does not long for us to be either of those, simply to be madly in love with Him and only him.
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18
Pride: Noun – “a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements.” We have nothing to be prideful in other than our God. Without Him, that car you just bought, would not exist. That voice you have to worship with, is His, not yours. The success you have would be impossible without His gentle hand in everything we do.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
Insecure: Adjective – “a person not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.” Why would we be insecure if the God of all the world Created you exactly how He wanted us? He made us in His own image and likeness (Genesis 1:27)! We get the incomparable honor to carry out the image and likeness of the Creator of the world. How cool is that? So why are we insecure? Because we don’t see our worth unless we reach perfection, which we will never attain.
When we start to compare and try to measure up to other people, our worth for ourselves depletes. We lose all love we ever even maybe had for ourselves. We get further away from the person we truly should be. We lose sight of the perfection of Christ. Christ was the only human to live a blameless life, He was the only one who achieved perfection. This realization is what changed my life. I do not have to be perfect because Christ was perfect for me.From a former perfectionist, I can say, no longer having to strive for something unachievable and a lie is one of the best feelings. Christ was my Hope and my Truth. He is now what I strive to be like. Not the girl with the cute scarf and adorable boots with the latte sitting next to me, but my Savior. He is my hope. He has set me free from the idealism of perfection.
Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:5
The fact that my God loves me enough to not expect me to be perfect for Him, is such a beautiful thing. All I want in this life, is to have such a relationship with Jesus that people see it everywhere I go. Not because I want the attention, but because I want to bring Him glory. I want people to see the love and hope He offers every single one of his children. The freedom from the lies, the hope we have in Him, the joy he brings every morning is something He desires for everyone. Your Heavenly Father does not expect perfection, all he wants is for you to take His hand and dance through this crazy life with Him. He loves us enough to give us the choice to take His hand. He is a gentleman, He will not force Himself, but He will always be there to take your hand when you are ready. Take it, let Him wrap His arms around you and love on you. Let Him show you the love and joy you’ve been longing for. Stop trying to be perfect for the people around you, because in the end, what does their opinion really matter anyways? We focus on being more like Jesus, rather than the “perfection” the world asks, it’s not nearly as hard to find your worth. You are worth more than you can imagine to your Heavenly Father. Embrace it.
God is love. Everything He does is in love. He’s undoubtedly shown me His love every day of my life, even when I choose not to see it. Even on my darkest days, He is there ready to comfort me. We just have to allow Him. His love for us surpasses all understanding; we cannot even fathom how much He cares for us. If we knew and believed how much He loved us for who He created us to be, would we want to be something different? Or would we let Him love us? There’s nothing we can do to stop God from loving us, so why don’t we just embrace it? And start showing others the love He has for them.
Don’t forget brothers and sisters, sometimes we are the only Jesus people see in the day. Be a good representation of Him, bring the love people need. Love the brokenhearted. Remember, Jesus loves you day in and day out as well in our deepest darkest times, so why don’t we follow His example of love? Pray for people to just experience the overwhelming love, peace and joy of our Father. Pray for those you know, pray for those you don’t like, pray for those you LOVE. Pray for the leaders in your church, pray for the kids in your church, just pray. Sometimes, all people need is to feel loved and worthy of love.
Stop believing the lies of satan and listen to the Truth of Christ. You are a child of God and there’s nothing on this earth, nothing you can do, nothing you can say, that will ever change that.